Monday, August 23, 2004

Vondervotteimittis -

I suspected the chauffeur was a little too drunk to drive, but the drag queen said he was fine. Bordering on convinced, I piled into the backseat with the others and we sped off towards the hotel. Let me think - there was the drag queen and myself, the Norwegian heavy metal band we had picked up back in Valhalla, a septuagenarian couple and their annoying chihuahua, and one very talkative mime named Jake.

"Keep that stuff hidden, man. There're cops everywhere."

Jake was also annoyingly paranoid. The stuff he was referring to were the three dozen quaaludes I had secreted away in the lining of my coat, and the big bag of posh I had sitting in my lap.

"Seriously, man. Put that stuff away."

As the light turned green we took off, and the chauffeur's eyes met mine in the rearview mirror.

"Say, traveller," he said, his English rough, but better than some, "it's a very different time we're living in, right?"

I nodded my agreement.

"It used to be that the first letter to become worn out on a computer's keyboard was the E." He let out a wet chuckle. "And now it's the W. Crazy times, boy, crazy times."

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