Thursday, January 1, 2004


I keep having this image flash in my mind - some kind of mental hallucination. Almost like it's an image of what eternity looks like - maybe infinity - maybe both. I tried to write about it last month [November 15th - 4 days before my birthday! Connexion?], and posted it as a sort of free verse. Not the right format for it though, and it didn't really hold the weight of the image when I went back to look at it.

I'm adrift on a makeshift raft.
The sky is completely black
But for the tiny pin-pricks of stars.
The deep green sea
Is illuminated from beneath.
(Like I'm floating on liquid emerald.)


Need to expound on it further: I am adrift on a makeshift raft in the pitch black of midnight - the stars nothing more that pin-pricks in the sky. It feels like this is all taking place inside some sort of large box, and the stars are just holes in which white light from the infinite Outside is passing through. That's the feeling I'm getting anyhow. The deep green sea on which I'm floating is strangely illuminated from underneath by some unknown light source. Looking at myself in third-person view, I finds that my skin is awash in an eerie green/yellow hue. It is not entirely silent, as I can hear the splish-splashing of water against my raft. I'm not worried about my situation, but entirely at peace with it. Things are just as they are. Some sort of purgatory? The one thing I'm thinking about is how there can be so much quiet in such a large place. Dangling an arm over the side of the raft, I find the water to be the same temperature as me. Like blood? I know that there is nothing alive in the water or in the air. In fact, there is nothing at all in this box. Only me.

[Need to think about what this means - why I'm so worried about forgetting it.]

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